This is a written interview that we conducted with Lauren to get a deeper insight on her thoughts about this project. This shall be followed by a video here shortly. All of these answers are her own words.
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What is your name? How old are you? Can you tell us a bit about Lauren and who you are now?
My name is Lauren Ashley Kratz and I am 29 years old. You could say I am a pretty typical person. I work a decent job and have spent the past several years going to school to earn a degree in Fine Art. I have been pretty good at following the path that was laid out for me growing up in suburbia. I live a comfortable life, in comparison to some people. I'm grateful for all the support of my family and the comforts of the first world. However, in the day to day I have always felt a strange pull to discover something different.
How do you feel as Lauren?
As Lauren I can say I am a very happy, positive person. I love the people around me, and love to make people happy. However I am plagued with unshakable fear. I believe it is a fear of being exposed. It has been with me since I was very young. As an adolescent It would manifest itself in strange phobias. I never liked my picture taken, or enjoyed being the center of attention. When I discovered performance art, I learned to start to let the fear go. I found myself in situations that pushed my personal and artistic boundaries. These performances have been misunderstood, or not understood at all. I want to share bits and pieces of this special medium with everyone I meet in everyday life. I feel the need to keep pushing this fear out of my life.
What do you do in your day to day and how will that change with your name?
I would like to change how I approach living. I want to eliminate extraneous, unnecessary consuming and focus outward. I want to give more and consume less. I want every day to be special and I want to create a genuine connection with the people. I want to make my life beautiful, and share the joy that comes along with that, with others. Creating this joy in my own life may mean doing things that are outside of what is considered normative behavior. These things will come together as small structured projects that I will plan weekly.
What made you decide to do this with your life?
Im tired of fear, and tired of introspection. I feel like society has an oppressive nature that causes people to question their nature. I have always felt as if I am operating under the constricting weight of a machine, whenever I try and function within a structure. I am not the only one who feels this weight. I look around at my friends, family and coworkers and I see the disconnect between their actual needs and the manufactured happiness that comes from pats on the head by a puppeteer. This does not discount the value of working within a system to reach a goal. I believe that systems are essential parts of society. I believe that introducing some chaos and fluidity into a functional system will allow people to live more foiling lives. Embracing joy,creativity, independence and expression can help us move forward as individuals working with in a system to change it. This may all sound naive and idealistic, however this is why I am undergoing this transformation. I am ridding myself of fear and pushing boundaries of every day living. I want to see how it changes me and if it changes the people around me. This project is where social practice meets performance art, and surely has been done before. However I am excited to discover things about myself and people around me through unusual interactions.
What are you trying to say by doing this?
I want to remind people that life in a system, it is more flexible than we believe. Life is what we make it, and we all can create the world we want to live in, even without an abundance of resources. I want to stop the ifs and when and embrace the present as a natural phenomena.
What message do you want to come across?
At the very least I would like to make someone smile. At most, teach someone a new way of viewing the world or even remind them of something they already knew. Life is fun and we are lucky to have it. Work hard to be happy with who you are instead of working hard to be someone else.
When Lauren is gone, will you carry her past with you?... Or is she going to pass away and are you going to be a clean slate?
The question of weather it is possible for to create a clean slate is one often explored by philosophers. Identity theory explores change of a person over time and asks if they are in fact the same vessel at the end of life journey as they were in the beginning. I cannot rid myself of my past but will acknowledge it, and move forward in this new journey. The mango itself is a personal metaphor for change, the way the colors shift though the life of the fruit is similar to what it means to change as a person. My performance is titled antithesis because I want to let my colors change naturally instead of constantly striving for a control that doesn't exist. I want to let mango develop naturally, and react intuitively.
As Mango what are you going to take on? Who will you be? What rules does Mango live by?
Mango lives by only one rule, no fear. I am going to put myself in situations that I never thought I would or could. Mango will be nothing predetermined by the expectations of others or myself. Mango embraces fluidity of identity and action.
How do you feel about these changes? Are you nervous? Excited?... Will it be a lot of work?
Lauren is afraid of being out of control, and being exposed. Mango on the other hand will embrace the changes and is a tool for me to embrace my natural inclinations. Freudian theory talks about the Ego, Id and Super Ego. Im thinking of this project as a personal reconstruction of these three psychological models. So far only a few people who know me truly understand the project and what it entails. I think explaining it to my parents is where the real work will happen. :)
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She is charming and fearless. She is doing something that we would all like to do, eradicate fear from our daily life. Does it take changing ones name to do so? Are there things that we can make conscious about that will help with this fear? And is it fear for everyone? Or do other people deal with some other form of Lauren's fear?
Ponder and examine yourself and ask the question...
what bounds me in my daily life?
If you know the answer... it's time to do something about it.
Find your favorite fruit and change your name ;) Just kidding. It's not for everyone.
Until tomorrow. Ponder these things.
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